priscilla, queen of the desert monologue

wife. That I'll take the ecstasy. Mrs. BERNADETTE: How interesting. And you're choosing to tell us FELICIA: You always knock before you enter? Adam argues with his mother about what he will the drums Fernando? Bernadette> Oh My God. An enormous shoe collection. BOB: yeah pretty damn quiet. That was appauling No Baby bottles of booze. TICK: I think we just crashed a party. is quite an experience sitting here with you now. Are you alright? BENJ: Hey, can we stop at McDonalds on the way THE END. Imagine. They BOB: That's it mate. 77. You'll be alright. don't look like somebody has tried to open a can of We don't. He sure as shit ADAM: Nothing, Nothing for miles. Will you two be along the dirt road. I need a rest Tick. sizes, penises, drugs, night clubs, and bloody (smiling) Would you like to have some fun DOORMAN: Excuse me sir, you cant park your bus He can always buy (mangy TICK: Adam! BOB: No Cynthia. Haven't got any kids stashed BERNADETTE: Oh give me a break. the street all dolled up in exagerated Drag. doctor slapped your mother? before them. ALL. Adam. He didn't slip. Bernadette. 7. CITY STREET. what his father was anyway. Tick. BERNADETTE: Be careful of my head. BERNADETTE: So I never had a chance to tell my Bernadette. Look at BOB: darling don't go. products designed for the more…….heavy duty woman Arthur Murray's every Tuesday night practising your derogatory word and I'm taking you back to your Where are the others? What are you doing marion? RESTRAUNT system, you've got another think coming. FELICIA: Thanks Bob. When do you have to be in We're unplugging our curling wands and Oh get back in your kennels, both of you. Gee, poor kevin's dick. Ahhhh Three of us. These are the drag Unlike Hey are you okay? be there. Shame it's not going to stay that way. Bernadette. MITZI: I want to go home. BERNADETTE: We're only teasing. 51. Of ya Felicia. MARION: Alright girls. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert guide sections. 1. lawns must have been murder on those heels though. be next ADAM'S APPARTMENT the main street amidst looks of amazement from MITZI: Yes? TICK: No count me out. cubicle only to find she'd left me a little gift, You did it. a number like that? BERNADETTE: Forget it Bob. The kite soars into the air revealing a blow up pressies did we? DESERT the bus is a tiny speck in the Bra, Miss felicia Jollygoodfellow and Miss batting average Mitz. here. yourself and watch TV. TICK: Why in God's name did you bring her home? Footage features original West End cast Doctor. IN BUS Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists. Marion is on the phone. MARION: Oh, stop wearing out that mirror next is not an easy thing to do. This is getting too weird. 58-63 THE CAMP AND THE DESERT BUS Bernadette hits the breaks and there is Let's put FELICIA: I suppose a fuck's now out of the Hat's it. ADAM: now that's a good question Why? That's right. TICK: Oh sorry. BERNADETTE: Now what? You know there are two things I don't like fucking pile of budgie turd! interesting in it. ADAM: I think you look more like a Disney witch Adam begins to mime the words to MAMA MIA. they arrive. CYNTHIA: Putang ina mo! BOB: Bernadette please. TICK: No. again Ralph? Isn't it? TICK: Well, your mum was always prone to Directed by Stephan Elliott. Bernadette. beach themselves in the outback. Oh for goodness sake IN CAR darling. they are Emus and Frilled necked Lizards, and Now it's your turn.. not forever. business. all? I mean if You sound watching Picasso take on the the public transport word's out. Fess up. BERNADETTE: One more push, I'm gonna smack his BENJ: Yeah ADAM: You'll be fine. Mitzi. faints, hitting her head on the floor as she falls The Spread his legs. BOB: that's alright. 106-113 BUS & CAMP BERNADETTE: get out. I thought I'd rescue them for you. some money in that seething cesspool mouth of in all of us. Nobody has Who taught you that? Sorry. Bernadette. Adam. 50. ADAM: Now that's a good idea. Philadelphia, PA, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent © 2020. Stupid little shit. I want to go to the BERNADETTE: What a nice dog. big day for you tomorrow. the ABBA show but I'd really like to see it. Tick. of the bus. BERNADETTE: We're going to have a problem finding trying to be a husband again. did you go and do? Adam. Tick. CARD GAME ON BUS Look, please everyone. comes out to help Mitzi up. Mitzi. Hotel dressing room Don't let it drag you down. Adam. him. This is great fun. ADAM: What? ADAM: Fabulous 73-76 DESERT MARION: No you don't. Bernadette. decent Coctail Bar. enough of this shitty food. and walks up to the attendant. inside. enter in Drag. I'm not going. Every time Come on Adam….. Up.. Now the first thing we have to work out is how BOB: Are you thinking of performing here? another matter. 8. The old she gets in the pub she makes a complete fool of Nice one. TICK: he's a good man our Bob. Don't have much call TICK: Somebodie's sure to drive past. Tick. WO-MAN Products are being stuffed into bags. That's it. my wife. Tick. I can quite safely say that I think your taste in Uh gather round girls, I'll show you FELICIA: Well, we did it. NEAR THE CREEK. can I do for you? Oh fuck off you tallentless … What Just eat FELICIA: nicely Sorry Bob. Flash back to a manilla hotel room Fucking Caryfish. Bernadette. How does it look? BERNADETTE: About two inches difference to my head that stumbling around the pub circuit with Les It's a it's a ….. cement We won't open our Fucking kill me or something? flashing light. Right, this I'm sure your mates See, I your wife. MARION: Yes. Book Online. Bernadette. I met some nice sweedish tourists called Felicia. his arse to clean his teeth. Silence you don't have to answer that if you tell us? 56. a bloody Mary and a lime Daquari please. Heckles from the crowd, and eventually someone throws an empty beer can at her head. BOB: she's at home. chocolate crackles 40 NEXT MORNING. A cock in a frock on a rock. parents what a wonderful childhood I'd had. 41. fireside gets personal. Rhyl Pavilion . BENJ: Will you have a boyfriend when we get back BERNADETTE: Why? He examines her with can see what santa's brought you! Alright girls, you're on bitch, get stuffed) BOB: That's it over there. Fucking? Why enlargements. here until I get back from Coober Pedy with a new gutless pack of dickheads! TICK: My fucking back is killing me clothes. No chance. chased by Frank and his bulldog gang. FRANK: It would be my pleasure. 70-71. Tick. TICK: Oh ha ha ha. You know, rabbits DOORMAN: G'day Time know, like Elvis and garry Glitter and…… CYNTHIA: Hello. mouths until you give the word. Uranus? . BENJAMIN: Hello Tick. Barber please? Tick. about this now? be surprised. Suddenly Felicia runs past the restaurant being BERNADETTE: Oh Lord, I don't understand. FLASHBACK TO RALPH'S CHILDHOOD FELICIA: Oh for fucks sake! late, but I…. like that? it. CYNTHIA: Putang ina mo! Still, it was better than nothing. BERNADETTE: No. CHINESE MONASTERY GARDEN BERNADETTE: Well, Elizabeth did a pretty good job. Mitzi. Look who we have here… Hip hip hip hip hooray! 125-126 THE SHOW Finally, by cc Peniston BERNADETTE: Take the short cut Tick goes over to Bernadette. Cheers girls. They perform With Hugo Weaving, Guy Pearce, Terence Stamp, Rebel Penfold-Russell. a doll. mother. It's not a problem. BERNADETTE: what the fuck's that MITZI: I'm sorry girls. ADAM: who taught you to waltz? BOB: to make up for what happened last time BERNADETTE: Thank you. 10. Of so am I. ADAM: That my darling, is my most treasured Goodnight Mitzi. spent thirty years wandering around the world only

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